Question and answer sent in by couples:
- I plan on wearing a blusher veil and would like to know who should lift it – my dad or my fiancé?
Good question. Just to inform you, a Blusher veil dates back to ancient times when a bride would cover her face to ward off evil spirits, luckily times have changed and wearing a blusher veil is simply a style choice. To answer your question, you have different options: your father can lift the veil to give you a kiss when you both reach the end of the aisle. Another option is after you and your groom have exchanged vows and are husband and wife, your new husband would then do the honours. If you feel you don’t want to hurt their feelings or you cannot choose between them, you have the option to hand your bouquet to your chief bridesmaid and lift the veil yourself before the exchange of vows begins. Most brides prefer to have their dads lift the veil so they can see clearly throughout the ceremony. I personally think if you have a blusher veil, the person walking you up the aisle, would lift the veil.Q.My divorced parents don’t get along at all, and I have no intention of seating them anywhere near each other during the ceremony. What advice can you give me?
A: At a typical wedding, the first few rows of seats are reserved for close family members, with parents in the front row, grandparents and siblings in the second row, and so on. If the relationship between your parents is tense, traditional wedding etiquette states that the parent to whom you happen to feel closest — let's say it's your mom — would sit in the front row, while your dad would be seated in the third or fourth row (with your stepmother, if he has remarried).
- When having a wedding what are some ways to remember loved ones who are no longer with us?
A. A memory table with their photographs displayed or a memorial note on your wedding program is a nice way to remember those who are no longer with us. (For example, on the program, you could say “We lovingly remember family members who are with us today in spirit.”) A few things I wouldn’t suggest are a moment of silence — and certainly not an area where there is an open seat. You want to convey positive feelings and not bring any of your guests ‘or your own emotions or energy down.
Q: Both my fiancé’s parents and my parents have divorced and remarried. Who should stand in the receiving line to meet and greet our guests?
A: If everyone wants to participate, here's a sample lineup: bride's mother, bride's stepfather, groom's step-father, groom's mom, bride, groom, bride's stepmother, bride’s father, groom’s father, groom’s stepmother. Too long? It's okay to simply include your biological parents or to forgo the tradition altogether. Many couples prefer to visit each dinner table during the reception as a less formal way to thank everyone.
Q: "My fiancé́ wants to have a mother/son dance. Am I expected to only have a father/daughter dance? Can I also dance with my mom, who basically raised me?"
A: You’re under no obligation to have a traditional father/ daughter dance. Instead, you might include both your parents, with separate dances and songs for each of them. Or, choose one tune for a "parent dance." Start out with Dad, then, halfway through the song, switch to your mom.
- What’s the best way to incorporate children from a previous marriage into a wedding?
A. Some ideas: Have your children escort you down the aisle (as long as they’re not too little) or, of course, be your best man or maid of honour. Another great tradition that I have begun to see in my clients’ weddings is a vow exchange between husband and wife, followed by the exchange of vows with the children to bring everyone together into a single-family unit. Another idea is to create a family-first dance: After the couple has their first dance together, the children join them, forming a circle for the next dance.
Tip of the week:
When taking photographs, ensure you include your stepparent, leaving a step-parent out of the photos because you dislike them, is bound to hurt them and also hurt your mum/dad’s feelings and affect your relationship with them. So, have those photos taken, even If you don’t want them to appear in your album, it would be a lovely keepsake and they will appreciate your generosity.
Trend of the week:
This is the perfect wedding dress for our lovely curvy brides. This fit and flare bridal gown features an ornately beaded bodice, sparkling crystals have been hand-sewn onto sheer soft tulle and laid over a delicate lace and satin. A beaded belt cinches the waist and a low V-back, edged with crystals finishes the look. They will love it! Available from Belladonna Bridal, Galway.