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Planning a wedding with children both sides

Winning Awards

It was a double delight as we scooped two awards last week in the Mrs2Be Brides Choice Awards – Best Wedding Venue – Hotel Connaught and Best Venue Coordinator Ireland. I was truly humbled to be nominated by previous couples who had celebrated their wedding with us but to win, not one award but two awards were fantastic. This is a great reflection on the team and the evolution of the service in the hotel. We are starting to celebrate our 15th year of service this Race Week so delighted to begin it with both of those awards. Paul and I would like to thank all of the team at the hotel and we look forward to continuing to making those moments of magic for all those couples who have booked their weddings with us. Thanks also to all the couples who voted for us and put us forward for the awards.

Planning a wedding with children both sides

Every couple who chooses to get married must learn how to create their own family unit, but the process becomes even more complicated when there are kids involved on both sides. This should be a celebration of the union of your family, not just the couple.

Don’t rush the first meeting; how to make the kids feel more comfortable.
You need to be 100% certain that you want to spend the rest of your lives together. Meeting the stepchildren can be quite nerve-wracking. Have some prep done before the first meeting, reassure the children that they are, and always will be, your number one priority. Make it clear that you are not trying to replace their other parents, which can be a big concern that all of the children share.

Choose a meeting point for your first meeting, maybe in an environment which is happy, fun and plenty of distractions in case things turn uncomfortable. After a few moments of each child sizing each other up, the children will do what children are good at doing – laughing, playing and getting to know each other. When they are the same ages, they will bond easily, older children will be a little more hesitant and sceptical but will slowly transition into their new roles.

Take things slowly when planning activities as a family.

Children always appear to enjoy themselves but they have deep emotions and express their feelings in different ways. Trying to go for dinner or the cinema with them slowly and this will establish a group dynamic, putting the children at ease. They will slowly start to look more at the children than the parents starting a new relationship. This will then lead to them asking to hang out with the other children as they get more comfortable and know each other more.

I think the most important thing is to keep asking the children how they feel about their mum or dad seeing another person. Some children may see it as a threat that you are no longer going to have all of your time with the child, so reassure them, more hugs, more chats and making them feel that they are number one in your life. Keep talking to the children and getting them to express their feelings.

Including the children in the wedding planning process.

So the wedding planning has begun, you must involve each of your children in the planning process, this is their special day too and a very exciting one. Encourage them to invite some of their friends to their wedding and have children’s entertainment. Involve them in the engagement photoshoot, not your ordinary photoshoot, bring them to a park with lots of leaves, footballs, fun in the park, maybe even bring some paints and see what fun they will have, do it differently and make it more fun. They will enjoy this far more than having to pose for photographs. Get them to have their entrance music for entering the banquet suite, involve them in the wedding cake tasting, selecting some music with the DJ for them. If they are old enough and have the confidence to make a speech on your wedding day, let them make a speech, this will make it so special for them.

Tip of the week

Your children are the most important little human beings to any mum and dad, so do involve your children in every aspect of your wedding. A little idea for the actual wedding day is to get the brides' children to buy a little gift for the groom’s children and visa versa, this will be something small but still, something that they will always remember their mum or dad coming together on their wedding day.

Trend of the week

A classic and beautiful gown, today’s brides-to-be are definitely looking to have a more fashion-forward walk down the aisle. Luckily, there are more options than ever to go for the bride looking to bring a modern flair to her wedding day look.

This gown called Linda by Mori Lee is that type of dress. Classic A-line bridal gown with an off the shoulder neckline and scalloped hemline ready to add a romantic touch to your big day. This is available here at Belladonna Bridal, Galway.

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